Adoptive Parents Guide To The First Weeks Home

To have a newborn join your family is exciting. But if you’re an adoptive parent, it would feel extra exciting. Finally, all those hurdles you jumped over and the long years of waiting have finally paid off. Just think, that there is no more worrying about changing your home environment too much. No more thinking over your ads accounts. No more jumping out of your seat every time you hear the phone rings, or wondering why your centre hasn’t called you yet.
Congratulations! And there you are welcome to the club!
But just like any other club, the membership has its rules as well as its own privileges. So before shouting out your wonderful news, here are some things you could expect after adopting a newborn.

Adopting means to adapt

From that very first moment that you hold your baby in your arms, you’ll never want to let them go. All you’d ever want to do is just stare at their perfect face and and marvel at their amazing features.

But raising a newborn is a lot of work and requires quite big changes to your life and your routines. You ask any parents. After the initial sweet period is over, you’ll come to find that being an adoptive parent you’ll face a variety of challenges that biological parents don’t have to worry about.

People wanting to visit

As a new parent, you need to carve out some time alone with your newborn. You’ll need to initiate the bonding process and lay down a new routine that revolves around your new childs wants and requirements. So for those who suddenly appear on your doorstep and don’t show signs of leaving, you shouldnt be afraid to set some limits on their visits and take out time for yourself.

People will surely ask questions about the baby

Lots of questions will be around you throughout. And it’s not just the random usual ones like, “Is the child a good sleeper” and “How are you being able to adjust to your new schedule?” You will also be bombarded with a long list of others that are adoption-related, like “Where’s the child from?” “What’s is their real mother like?” and “Are you going to ever tell them that they are adopted?”

Knowing that these questions may come up whenever, it is important to create a smart plan to deal with those questions. Remember, it is your child’s story. And being an adoptive parent, one of your most important jobs will be to protect her from prying eyes and ears.

If they are parts of your child’s story that are hard or you are uncomfortable talking about, you don’t have to share it with anyone. If you’re not sure about how to proceed ahead, there is a good rule of thumb to follow: think about your child a few years down the line. How will they feel if they discovered that you had shared their sensitive details about their birth story without their knowledge or permission?

People tend to ask questions about the birth-family

Remember how you reacted when you first heard about open adoption? All of the questions and the concerns you’ve had about the biological parents and the role they would later play in your lives? Well, now it’s supposed to be everyone else’s turn. So brace yourself for an array of unusual and weird questions and comments.

Some people might just be curious, others may just be an interference. No matter what, it’s a touchy topic that requires some sensitivity while asking. You should know that you’re under no obligation to answer anything you don’t want to or don’t feel like answering. But even if you do respond,try and make sure that whatever you say does not dishonour the biological parents’ decision and respects their privacy too.

It’s totally up to you to decide how much information you give out and to whom. In the early stages, it’s best to share less until you’re comfortable with that person. And, always keep in mind that it’s your and your child’s story. You are in full control of it. And once the genie is out the bottle, it’s difficult to put it back in.

People might infer about your adoption journey

All your close family members and friends may have always been aware of your adopting plans. But for those who aren’t, suddenly seeing you one fine day with a baby may come to them as a surprise. So it’s better to be prepared if someone that you’ve never talked to suddenly stops you in the street while you’re pushing your stoller and starts pestering you with questions.

When you become a parent by the process of adoption, you aren’t just becoming a parent. In fact, you’re automatically becoming an ambassador for adoption, and that means spending lots of time answering questions and busting out myths and some stereotypes.

You will make mistakes

From your room study to your adoption process, so much of your journey to adopt a newborn is about proving yourself to others and showing that you’ll be a perfect parent. You very well might be. But that doesn’t exactly mean that you won’t stumble out here and there along the road. Whether it be about suddenly discovering that you’re out of diapers or youre not able to get your baby to fall asleep, you’ll obviously make mistakes.

The good news is that parenting is a pretty forgiving task and you’ll tend to get a lot better over time. Best part about it being, you and your baby won’t remember half of the things. So learn to give yourself a pat on the back when things go the way you imagined and learn from your mistakes when you make them, because it’s all part of the whole package.

You’ll be tired

Of course you’ll be tired at times. You’ll just be so exhausted. On Some occasions you might just want to collapse on the bed and fall asleep. But that’s parenting is all about. Welcome to the sessions of midnight awakenings and round-the-clock diaper changes.

Don’t worry about such things. Just try to do your best and keep enjoying your time together. Or maybe as much as you can. Because before you come to know about it, your child’s days as a newborn will just be over and it will finally be the right time to join yet another club!